I Wrote a Cover Letter For Maggiano’s and Didn’t Get the Job

I have a confession to make: I wrote a cover letter for a server job at Maggiano’s and didn’t get the job. I know what you’re thinking, “what a simp,” but I’m here to tell you that it’s amazing the things that you will say when you really need a job. Did you know that Maggiano’s has a Buy One, Take One special? Buy any entrée and you can get any classic pasta for $5. I didn’t know that before I started applying, but you can bet your ass I wrote about it in my cover letter. I wrote about how awesome this deal was, and how gracious it was for Maggiano’s to offer customers the chance to enjoy even more pasta at such a low price. I praised their altruism.

Maggiano’s also doesn’t mess around with their portions. You could easily feed two people with just one pasta dish, no joke. I knew this beforehand, and I made sure that the hiring manager at Maggiano’s knew that I appreciated it. I wrote about how big their pasta dishes were and how much joy it would give me to hear customers say, “I’m going to save half of this for lunch tomorrow,” every time I brought them their food. I told them even a grandma on Thanksgiving couldn’t compete with their plate portions.

Finally, did you know that there are 53 Maggiano’s locations across 24 states and territories? I sure as hell didn’t but it’s amazing what you can find on the internet nowadays and I knew if I had some background information like that, they would surely give me the job. I talked about those 53 locations in my cover letter and how I would love to one day visit all of them, especially the one in Henrico, Virginia. I had heard that the weather was great over there this time of year (I applied in the Spring.)

The cover letter got me an interview, but I ultimately was not chosen for the position. I wasn’t mad though; I had learned something. Not that I was the only applicant who had written a cover letter (I was) but that the words that are written in the pursuit of money make you look like a kiss ass.