Let’s Break Down Your Spotify Wrapped: What I Can Learn About You Based on Your Music Choice

It’s that lovely time of the year when Spotify releases your ‘Spotify Wrapped’, a virtual marketing campaign that compiles users’ listening history on the platform in the hopes that they will share it with others via social media. It’s pretty ingenious, I’ll give Spotify that, but what many users don’t know is that when they show someone their Spotify Wrapped, they are sharing their own personal data. Here’s what you’re telling me about yourself when I see your Spotify wrapped:

Music is your coping mechanism. As soon as I see minutes listened to over 40 or 50 thousand, I know that you listen to music because you have to. You probably can’t even go to the bathroom without something playing in the background. You know that the bathroom is too quiet and that you can’t be left alone with your thoughts for that long, so you play some music to tune them out. There’s nothing wrong with that, some people do way worse to avoid the mind, but don’t act like you’re fooling anyone.

We shouldn’t road trip together. There is of course the obvious conclusion that I will be able to draw based on your Spotify Wrapped: we shouldn’t go on a road trip together. If your favorite artist is Gunna, I’m going to assume that we will be listening to mumble rap for the entire drive. A poor music choice for a road trip indeed, no one will be able to sing along to it. If your favorite genre is Indie Pop, I am going to assume that a lot of your music is going to be ‘feel good’ and that’s not really my vibe. In my experience, road trips aren’t supposed to make you feel good, they are supposed to remind you why you should’ve stayed home.

You probably dress a certain way. Based on the kind of music that you listen to, I can determine (roughly) how you might dress yourself. If Country is your top genre and you’re a guy, I’m going to assume that you don’t leave the house without a mesh cap on your head that says something like ‘Farm’ on the front. If your favorite artist is Harry Styles, I’m going to assume that you have an outfit in your closet that you only wore when you went to his concert and never wore again because it wouldn’t make sense anywhere else. Finally, if your favorite genre is still somehow 90s Grunge, you probably never stopped wearing athletic shorts.

So basically, Spotify is tricking you into sharing your personal data with the world and overthinkers like me are learning things about you that you thought was a secret. I’m this close to guessing whom you have a credit card with, and it won’t be long until I figure out your card and CVV number. Happy Spotify Wrapped!