POV: You’ve Died and Gone to Hell

A LOST SOUL lies unconscious in the middle of a grocery store. SATAN enters and shakes them.

Satan: Wake up! Man, you’ve been out for a while now.

Lost Soul wakes up, confused.

Lost Soul: Where am I?

Satan: You’re in a grocery store on a Sunday. In other words, you are in Hell.

Lost Soul: Aw man! I’m dead?! What did I do to deserve this?

Satan: When you were alive you would shop in grocery stores with your headphones on, totally unaware and ignorant of your surroundings. It’s the eighth deadly sin that no one really talks about, but regardless, you still shouldn’t do it.

Lost Soul: But I only did that because I hate the grocery store!

Satan: Everybody hates the grocery store! Why do you think I remodeled Hell to look like one? Come on, I’ll show you around.

Lost Soul follows Satan towards the condiments and pickle aisle. Satan stops and points toward a cart parked in the middle of the aisle.

Satan: Look at that. That shopper is blocking the entire aisle with their cart because they wanted to stop and compare pickle brands.

They walk towards the tortillas section. They stop in front of the tortilla section where a queue has begun to form.

Satan: Look at these assholes. They’ve formed a line because they want to wait for a new wave of fresh tortillas to come out. So annoying. Let’s keep walking.

They head towards the checkout section where it is complete mayhem

Satan: Now this is the absolute worst. You got the coupon fanatics who are holding the lines up, there’s a whole family with their extended family shopping together taking up too much space, and to make matters worse, there are 15 lanes and only 6 are open.

Lost Soul: Wow, I really am in Hell.

Satan: You sure are. Don’t worry about it though, at least you get to listen to catchy cover songs in the background all day long.

Lost Soul: NOOOOOOO!

Fin.