Man Thinks that After Thanksgiving It’s Time For a Change

UNITED STATES – Thanksgiving is the one day of the year when you can eat as much as you want without worrying about how you look. But what about the day after? Thanksgiving participant Gary Painter woke up this morning thinking that maybe it’s time that he made a change. “Yesterday was all blur and even though I enjoyed eating all that food in the moment, I can’t help feeling this intense guilt today,” admitted Gary. Psychologist Dr. Robert Winter assures Americans like Gary that this guilt is normal and will pass in a few days. “It is completely normal to feel like a real fat piece of shit the day after Thanksgiving, similar to how one might feel after a day of heavy drinking and drug use. The trick is to acknowledge these feelings and then silently admit to yourself that you are never going to change. You will feel a lot less guilty after doing this.” At press time, Dr. Winter announced that he would be releasing his memoir next year titled “How I Enabled Myself and Others.”