NFL Draws Up New Contract, Says They Are Not Held Liable if Baker Mayfield Contracts CTE Later in Life

JAMESTOWN – After a comeback win against the Las Vegas Raiders last night, Los Angeles Rams’ new quarterback, Baker Mayfield, did his signature head-to-helmet celebration with his teammates. Today, NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell made a public press announcement that the NFL would be working with Baker Mayfield’s agent to draft up a new contract, stipulating that the NFL is no longer liable if Mayfield contracts CTE or any other long-term head trauma diagnoses in the future. “We at the NFL take pride in making sure our players are taken care of – while they are still in the league and when they get out. However, we cannot justify paying for any long-term care that Mr. Mayfield might require when he is deliberately causing physical trauma to himself,” said Goodell during the official press release. At press time, our reporters have determined that the public response to Baker Mayfield’s celebration tradition has been largely reminiscent of the “glory days” of the NFL when more players got seriously injured for no reason.