Sweet Lord! Father Discovers That One Click Of A Button On Child’s Phone Has A Lot More Pornography Than Turning One Page Of A Book

MELBOURNE, FL – A Florida father who has been a vocal supporter of book bans in his children’s schools as a form of censorship just discovered how easy it is to find explicit content on a smartphone.

“I just remember being like, damn, that’s a lot of porn,” said Dan Ehlinger, who was conducting a self-experiment with his 10-year-old daughter’s phone to see just what is available to her on this little device of hers.

With one click of a button, Ehlinger said he was able to find images of boobs, balls, and butt, as well as thousands of Tik Tok videos that discuss topics of dating, sex, and where to find the queerest drag shows in the city.

“Back in my day you just had nudie magazines and adult film theaters for perverts. Things sure have changed,” said Ehlinger.

Nevertheless, 2023 is already on track to beat last year’s record for book bans in American public schools and reading material with content relating to LGBTQIA+ identity and themes being the main target.

At press time, Ehlinger, who completely missed the point of his self-experiment, was seen at a PTA meeting where he was advocating to other parents to continue banning books as well as smartphones.