These Men Had A Terrible International Women’s Day

WASHINGTON DC — Our reporters went around town today to ask men who vehemently despise International Women’s Day why they refuse to celebrate women on this worldwide holiday.

This is what they had to say:

“Gaming started sucking the minute women started playing it. Sure, I watch all the seductive streams that these female gamers post but that doesn’t mean that I support them.” - Andrew (Full-time Mouth Breather and Gamer)

“Women always gotta make things complicated. Like when you’re about to shoot someone all they want to do is think, they never just do.” - Billy (25 Year Veteran Of The Force)

“All women do now is catch me staring at them from their workout videos. Perving used to be a lot easier when they didn’t post the evidence on Tik Tok.” - Mark (Accountant and Motivational Speaker)

“Sure, I still live with my mom, but my greatest fear is that one day we might have a woman president. How embarrassing would that be?”