“Come and Look at the Mess You Made in the Kitchen!”

THE SOUTH – A local, hard-working, southern dad was not prepared for what he saw on the kitchen counter when he came home from a long day at work last week. “I walk into the kitchen that I work all day to pay for and lo and behold, someone left a big clump of rice on the counter,” screamed Gus Jackson, who was still reeling from this blatant show of disrespect done by none other than that little shit upstairs called his son. “As soon as I saw it, I yelled at my ungrateful kid to come downstairs and clean up the mess he made. No son of mine is going to grow up without understanding that the World doesn’t owe him a damn thing.” At press time, Jackson was still in the middle of lecturing his son, asking him if he thinks Gordon Ramsey would leave his kitchen in such a mess.