“I Can’t Hang Out Tonight,” Says Friend Who Chose to Cook a Meal that Takes 5 Hours to Make

CHOPPED – All Amir Kahn wanted to do was hang out with his food snob friend Lucas today. They had made plans the week prior to get drinks and he was really excited to have a night out with his friend when he got a text message that made his stomach sink.

“God damn it! He always does this,” groaned Amir after receiving a text from Lucas that he couldn’t make it out tonight because he had decided to make ramen from scratch. “It takes 5 hours alone just to make the broth, the meal won’t even be ready till 9 PM tonight,” the text read from Lucas.

Amir told reporters that Lucas had also canceled their plans last week because he was too preoccupied with making ceviche. “I can guarantee you that he is just standing in front of that pot watching it simmer, like an asshole.”