Nepo Baby Can’t Believe They Might Already Be Canceled, Says They Just Got Here

NEW YORK – Yesterday, New York Magazine published an article titled, “The Year of the Nepo Baby” with the cover depicting several of today’s young and famous actors’ heads pasted on top of baby bodies. The article talked about the recent stir about Hollywood’s nepotism on social media, the backlash that celebrities have received from the public regarding their “rise to fame,” and a brief history of the nepotism that has pervaded the industry for generations. While the article received concurrence from the public and outcry from celebrities, one Nepo Baby decided to throw a complete tantrum after reading it.

Nepo Baby (who really only understood a couple of words from the article) was outraged to learn that they might already be canceled by the public and cited that they haven’t been here long enough to deserve this kind of criticism. “I literally just got here,” cried Nepo Baby, the son of a Hollywood screenwriter and a stripper who was born just last month. “I’m still getting my baby pictures taken for Christsake, and now I’m finding out that I might be canceled just because of who I’m related to?! I didn’t ask for this!”

Nepo Baby took to Twitter to express their grievances, launching a thread of some of the fiercest, most unfiltered hate tweets written towards a baby in response:

@marilynmonroestan tweeted: “Googoo gaga you little b*tch! Go cry to your rich daddy! I hate you!”

@BBLBased tweeted: “I can’t believe that you are complaining rn! You have no idea how hard it is to be a normal person with real problems. You wouldn’t last a day in my shoes.”

@iLoveCatsandBernieSanders tweeted: “Classic nepo baby, always looking to throw a tantrum and cry. Must be nice to have the World at your feet. F*ck you.”

At press time, witnesses reported that the Nepo Baby was still responding to the haters on Twitter, using what little strength those tiny fingers have to type out, “Why don’t you take my diaper out, b*tch!”