Southwest Airline Customer Who Hasn’t left Airport Bar in 5 Days Files Claim

DENVER — After nearly a week of canceled and delayed flights that have left thousands of customers stranded during the holiday season, Southwest Airlines announced yesterday that it should be returning to normal operations. Now that flights are finally on schedule, most customers have begun filing claims for expenses compensation, including one customer who intends to file a claim for his 5-day bar tab.

“I have been stranded at this hotel bar for 5 days straight and you can bet your ass I’ll be asking for the itemized receipt,” proudly announced Randy Mariano, who took a seat at the Blue Sky Bar in Denver International Airport an hour before boarding on the 26th.

“I usually drink at least two or three drinks before boarding, but with all the rescheduling and cancellations, I have been forced to drink a hell of a lot more than that. I’m the victim here and I expect to be fully compensated.”

Southwest Airlines could not be reached for comment regarding their eligibility requirements for compensation claims, but Mariano is confident he won’t be the only one submitting a bar tab claim.

“Drinking and flying go hand-in-hand and just like the weather, I’m sure that Southwest did not see this coming.”