THIS AMERICAN’S ENGLISH IS TERRIBLE COMPARED TO MOST EUROPEANS

MADRID, SPAIN – Texas native Jackson Beaumont expected many things in Europe to be different than in America.

He had expected better-tasting food and more efficient public transportation, but what he had not expected, was that all of the Europeans that he encountered spoke better English than he did.

“Them bitches over there in Europe speak English way better than I do and it’s not even their first goddamn language,” chuckled Jackson, who learned English mainly from family members at crawfish boils and from men who drink and smoke cigarettes daily, usually around a fire pit.

Beaumont told reporters it didn't matter whether they were Germans, Spaniards, or Italians; all spoke better English than he did, and although he understood them perfectly, they often couldn't understand him.

“For example, when I asked for them to ‘pass me that hoe’ they were all confused, like they had never heard a cigarette be called a ‘hoe’ before. Strange world over there, man.”

Upon his return back to Texas, many of Beaumont’s closest family and friends asked him a question that they had been pondering their entire lives – “What kinda beer do they got over there in Europe?”