TRUMP CAMPAIGN STAFF REGRETS THAT THE FORMER PRESIDENT WAS NOT HOLDING THE HOLY BIBLE DURING BOTCHED ASSASSINATION ATTEMPT

BUTLER, PA – Former President Donald Trump was injured in a shooting at his presidential campaign rally in Butler, Pennsylvania Saturday afternoon.

Secret Service members quickly rushed to the former president’s aid, and in a majestic demonstration of American strength, the former president rose from the podium, blood streaking his face, and pumped his fist in the air with fervor while yelling “Fight!”

In a post-interview with Trump’s campaign staff, Campaign Manager Bill Stepein expressed both relief and regret.

“I am relieved that President Donald Trump is in good health after what will go down as a horrific tragedy in our nation’s history. I do regret, however, that he was not holding the Holy Bible, as that would’ve been a nice touch to our campaign image,” said Stepein.

The suspect was killed by Secret Service but not before he fired several shots. The former president was injured in the right ear and one rally member was killed along with several injured.

Americans around the country are reeling in shock and many of them are taking to social media to express their views on the botched assassination attempt, many of which are videos of the aftermath with American rapper 50 Cent’s “Many Men” playing in the background.

50 Cent declined to comment.