US Credit Score Worsens After Hitting Debt Ceiling

WASHINGTON – The US hit the debt ceiling set by Congress – a mere $31.4 trillion – on Thursday, forcing the Treasury Department to take drastic measures to keep the government paying its bills to avoid a default.

President Joe Biden told reporters he was notified that the US government’s FICO Credit Score had changed this month but rather than tell them the exact credit score, the president elected to speak in code, and would answer with, “let’s just say the US government wouldn’t get approved for an apartment – any apartment.”

The United States Secretary of Treasury Janet Yellen announced that they would be taking extreme measures to ensure that the US would not default on its debt and that they should give the government till the start of the summer to start paying off its loans, pushing back the due date on paying off their loans just like they’ve been doing for student loans.

Far-left Democrats have called on Congress to raise the debt ceiling (again) to avoid the catastrophic impact of the US defaulting on its debt. Needless to say, Far-right Republicans have denounced such notions and GOP Rep. Andy Biggs tweeted that “[Democrats] made their bed, so they must lie in it,” even though the entire US government sleeps in that same bed, including Nancy Pelosi, an 82-year-old grandmother.