Volunteer Did Not Sign Up For This Bullshit

LITTLE ROCK — Even though Ryan Gustafson willingly signed up to volunteer for an event with a non-profit this past Saturday, he secretly had a mental list of duties that he did not want to do and was extremely dismayed when he was assigned exactly one of those duties.

“Raking leaves? Yeah, I don’t think so. I signed up to work the chainsaw, not this bullshit,” said Gustafson.

Witnesses told reporters that Ryan raked with attitude for a good 45 minutes, and said he took breaks every five minutes to “scroll thru his phone” and “bitch.”

Athena Kreisler, the community outreach manager who lead the event over the weekend, said that Ryan’s behavior is something that she has seen many times before among volunteers.

“Unfortunately, some people really have an agenda when they sign up to volunteer. Whether that be to only do the ‘fun’ things during the event or to hit-on other volunteers in the group, everyone has an idea of what they want to get out of volunteering. It’s a wonder we get any work done at all.”