Boss Realizes That The Five Family Funerals, Three Gender Reveals, and One Sick Day That He Approved Time Off For Are On The Same Day As Barbenheimer

THE CINEMA –Randall Bluestein has just realized that all the employee time off requests that he approved for today were for ‘Barbenheimer’, and not for any of the reasons he approved.

The 63-year old Sears manager who admit to not being the most ‘tech savy’ was asked by his wife this morning if he would be interested in seeing Barbenheimer with her this weekend at the cinema for a date night.

“What in the hell is Barbenheimer, I asked her, because that’s one made-up sounding word if I’ve ever heard one,” said Bluestein in his slow, southern drawl.

To Randall’s credit, he was right.

According to Wikipedia, “Barbenheimer is an Internet phenomenon that began circulating ahead of the simultaneous theatrical release of two critically acclaimed blockbuster films which were diametrically opposed in genre, Barbie and Oppenheimer,  on July 21, 2023.”

After his wife explained to him that Barbie and Oppenheimer – Barbenheimer – are two of the most highly anticipated theatrical releases this year, it became clear to Randall that all of his employees had lied to him when they requested time off.

At press time, while gearing up for his lonely shift at Sears, Randall asked his wife if she thought the Barbenheimer tickets will be ‘a twofer’, excited at the prospect of seeing two movies for the price of one.