“Is This Where You Are Finding Your Whores Now?! You Really Expect Me To Believe That Twitter Is Now Called ‘X’?!”

SAN FRANCISCO – Authorities responded to a domestic dispute call this morning between a husband and wife after concerned neighbors reported that they heard screams and what sounded like furniture being broken.

According to the husband, Bryan Mersenger, the argument between him and his wife, Tammie, began when she discovered an app called ‘X’ on his phone while she was secretly searching through it. He told authorities that when she confronted him about it and he denied any wrongdoing, the situation escalated.

“Does he really expect me to believe that Twitter is now called ‘X’?! How stupid does he think I am?! ‘X’ is probably a porn site or a chatroom for cheating husbands looking for hookers!” sobbed Tammie to first responders.

Tammie refused requests by both her husband and authorities to actually click on the application and see what ‘X’ is for herself, fearing the possibility that her baseless claim that the app is used for hiring escorts might actually be true.

After hours of attempting to convince his wife that ‘X’ is actually Twitter to no avail, Bryan felt that he had no choice but to press domestic abuse charges against his wife and file a restraining order against her, forbidding her to go within a hundred yards of his phone.