SLACKLINER SECRETLY HOPES THAT THE LINE SLIPS INTO HIS BUTT ON THE NEXT BOUNCE

MOAB, UT – A group of forty slackliners commandeered a park in Utah this week.

As EDM pierced what once was a peaceful day, the slackliners began to strap a line in between two magnificent trees, slowly turning one slackliner’s fantasy into a reality.

“What if the line went up my butt when it’s my turn to bounce…” thought Konner Weinrot, as he watched his fellow slackliners bounce gracefully on the tense line.

Foolishly believing that they were the coolest people that anyone had ever met, the slackliners seized a massive section of the park with complete disregard for the other park-goer's space and serenity.

Bystanders quickly began to usher their young children to their cars after realizing that the park was no longer a safe space for their kids.

Police arrived on the scene shortly after it became Weinrot’s turn on the line, charging him with the gratification of lust in a public space.